When it comes to how to build real-life confidence in kids, video games are an unexpected topic, but they’ve become part of the conversation.
I recently came across a quote that made me pause:
“The real reason video games are popular is because most don’t think they can play the game of real life and win… so they escape to virtual worlds where they pretend to be someone else, and play, restart, and win – often forgetting that real life is passing them by.”
—Alen Sultanic
Now, do I think video games are all bad? Not at all. Many games help kids learn tech skills, strategy, even teamwork, especially when monitored well. Mark Zuckerberg has even said his passion for engineering began with Minecraft.
But there’s some truth here that we shouldn’t ignore. Especially when we’re talking about how to build real-life confidence in kids.
Why Confidence Needs Real-World Wins
Confidence doesn’t come from hitting “restart.” It comes from struggle, progress, and earned victories.
That’s the key to how to build real-life confidence in kids. Not through participation trophies or quick wins, but through small, measurable achievements stacked over time. If you’d like to read more, we wrote an entire blog about how sparring builds patience, discipline, and confidence. You can find it here.
How Martial Arts Builds Confidence Without Screens
At American Academies of Martial Arts, we build confidence the old-fashioned way: through effort and accountability.
Students earn their tips and new sashes through visible progress, not just for showing up. Every promotion reflects growth in discipline, technique, and mindset. That’s how to build real-life confidence in kids, by helping them see their own progress and proving to themselves that they can do hard things.
This takes time, which is why we always encourage families to think long-term. Martial arts isn’t a quick fix. It’s a structured path. Anything shorter than a few months is just a glorified P.E. class, and that’s not where confidence is forged.
Back to Video Games…
Do I think a lack of confidence is why an 8-year-old, or even a 32-year-old, grabs a controller to build a fantasy world? Not really.
But when gaming becomes the only place they feel successful… when it replaces their drive to grow and improve in the real world… that’s where this quote hits home.
And that’s why the conversation around how to build real-life confidence in kids matters more than ever.
What Can We Do?
If you’re wondering how to shift that balance and help your child thrive in real life, not just in virtual ones, we’re here to help.
Try a class. Tour the school. Or just have a conversation. Sometimes, confidence is just a few small wins away.